December 1, 2009

IRS May Allow Stimulus Job Creation Guidelines on Tax Returns

WASHINGTON, DC -- Some critics have claimed that most of President Obama's jobs "saved or created" by the hundreds of billions in stimulus money were fiction.  If so, they may soon be a useful fiction for taxpayers.  In an internal memo received by The Hell Gazette, the IRS is considering letting taxpayers claim dependents using the same guidelines the White House provided to determine jobs "creation" recently.  The issue has been quietly discussed within the revenue department since the White House released the new jobs numbers on Oct. 29, 2009.

The memo outlines the following rules that can be utilized for 2009 tax returns.

Raising Allowances
If children's allowances were increased this year, that can be used to "save or create" dependents.  Multiply the number of current dependents on the 2008 tax return by the percentage increase in allowance to determine the number of 2009 dependents.

Salary Increase for Breadwinner
If the breadwinner of the family received a salary increase in 2009, that percentage increase translates into more dependents.  If both parents work, the dependents are cumulative.

Part-time Children
The biggest innovation from the memo is the concept of part-time children.  Any children that spend part of their time at someone's house can be claimed as "partial" dependents if they consume at least one meal there.  This can apply to non-relations, such as the children's friends.  Multiply the amount of time they spend there as a percentage of the total hours in a year to determine their dependent contribution to the family.

The memo goes on to state that all new increases are additive and that "partial" dependents - any new dependent less than 1.0, such as 0.6 - are now included in tax returns by multiplying the amount as a percentage of the deduction (See sidebar "What Does All This Mean To Me?").  The White House has declined to comment.

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