BARROW, AK – Sales of swimwear and tanning lotion to the Inuit peoples of Canada, Russia, and the US have dropped precipitously since the revelation that man-made Global Warming is not real. Industry figures compiled and released today show a clear drop in sales starting in November 2009 when emails were released to the public proving several important Global Warming scientists engaged in fraud to convince the general public of increasing world temperatures.
An Inuit Circumpolar Council spokesperson remarked about the change in opinion, “We believe science and fact, like everyone else. We as a people were just trying to be prepared, but I guess we won’t be needing this stuff after all. Anyone out there interested in a few thousand pairs of swim trunks and bikinis of various sizes and styles?”
Sales of the warm weather gear were pedaled primarily through local distributor Gore Industries, and were underwritten by loans from the United Nations. Enthusiasm for Gore Industries hasn’t dampened in this part of the world and local shoppers say they will continue to purchase products from them. “Many of us feel a little silly now, but we don't blame Gore Industries. In fact, most of us agree we’ll continue to buy ice from them, at least.”
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