February 28, 2012

Vail on Just $10,000 a Day

*****ADVERTISMENT*****
The new budget travel guide from Michelle Obama, "Vail on Just $10,000 a Day", has just been released by FLOTUS Publishing. It is the latest in the First Lady's popular series of practical guides to traveling the world - without breaking the bank!

Travel with this interesting and fashionable mother of two. Experience her enlightening and breezy writing, organized by topic and put into familiar and easy-to-understand sections.


...Let'em eat cake! She explores fine eateries and gives helpful hints on what to have (Spoiler: it's not what she thinks your kids should be eating!). Useful for those times when your personal chef has the night off.

...See the sights Blend in with the locals, as only Michelle truly can.

...Shop 'til you Drop! While not everyone has the option of closing down entire stores to do their shopping, everyone can benefit from her useful advice on avoiding tourist traps and saving money.

...Downtime Kids are so much more than just props in photos. Sometimes, you want some time with them, too. Michelle always includes a few kid-friendly activities that are guaranteed to keep your youngsters happy (DISCLAIMER: not all sites mentioned are open to the public).

...Handling your staff Dos and don'ts on managing your security detail, assistants, fashion advisors, and all the rest.

Get your copy today!
Found wherever food stamps are accepted 
Check out Michelle's other 15 titles in the "on Just" travel series!
"Spain on Just $22,00 a Day"
"Martha's Vineyard on Just $10,000 a Day"
"Hawaii on Just $200,000 a Day"

New books come out about every 10 weeks, so check back often!
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February 23, 2012

Syrian Army Attacks Homs: "We believe they are burning Korans"

HOMS, SYRIA -- As months of a brutal crackdown continue and the civilian death toll stretches into the thousands, the Syrian Army revealed that it is only shelling cities because of reports that the Koran is being burned in rebel-held regions. "We have strong reason to believe they are burning Korans in there," an Army official said, while directing fire into heavily populated areas.

Arab League observers in the country confirmed this and said they were taken to areas recaptured from the rebels where they saw "a lot of ash and debris, which obviously came from all the Korans they had been burning." Burning or desecration of the holy book of Islam is considered a terrible crime by Muslims, usually cleansed by the random killing of infidels.

It is unknown why the rebels are burning the Korans, since journalists are not allowed in the areas of Syria under rebellion. Syrian Army commanders confirmed that they don't know why the Korans are being burned, but "we must take action to stop it."

An Al-Jazeera poll of several middle eastern populations showed that approval for the Syrian response against its people, which includes the murder and torture of women and children, increased substantially after the allegations of Koran burning were reported. Saudi Arabian carpet salesman Al-Aliz Mohammed summed up the feelings of many in the Arab world by noting "the only thing that could be better than bombing the cities is to somehow construct a giant shoe and show the rebels the bottom of that shoe. I've heard Russian scientists are working on just such a shoe for Iran."

February 13, 2012

10+ States Granted 'Flexibility' in Fed'l School Requirements

Washington, DC -- President Barack Obama's administration announced this week that it would grant waivers to the "No Child Left Behind" act for 10 states. The law requires states to prove that their students meet a minimum competency level in reading and mathematics by 2014. Education Secretary Arne Duncan provided details on the waivers starting with the statement "It is pretty much Bush's fault. He's the one who pushed for these so-called 'educational standards' to be met. He's the one who garnered bi-partisan support to get it passed. I don't understand why people think it is so important to teach kids reading and math anyway." As many as 29 more states are reportedly considering the waivers in the coming years.

Duncan provided extensive details on what the Obama administration's goals are for education as journalists asked for clarification on the shocking announcement. "Teaching about the environment, why unions are vital to this country, the importance of diversity, and the incredible Barack Obama - that is what kids are learning today. Why, when I think of all those tiny, impressionable little faces upturned and staring at a giant image of our current leader while being told what an intelligent and compassionate man he is I get a little choked up. Why should our youngsters be burdened with learning math or reading? Look at this example problem from one of the standardized tests: 'Using a calculator and the chart below, determine the annual interest payments on 15 trillion dollars of debt.' That's just not realistic training for life anymore."

Analysts backed up the Secretary's claims that children don't need to learn "all that old junk", with several notable scientific journals publishing Federally-funded studies and research this month detailing how old-fashioned subjects like math, reading, and science are unnecessary in today's complex world.

February 7, 2012

IUCN: North American Taxpayer Extinct by 2085

GLAND, SWITZERLAND -- The North American Taxpayer was changed from a "Vulnerable" to "Endangered" species this week, highlighting a decades-long slide in the status of this once thriving mammal. The International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN), which maintains the status and classifications of "at risk" species, issued a notice that the already threatened population experienced a significant drop in the last two decades, and the trend toward extinction appears to be accelerating.

IUCN spokesperson Dr. Clive Patrominski-Feldersenfreid spoke briefly about the situation, "The implications of the loss of this organism can't be overstated. This is not some minor local variant like the Salt Creek Tiger Beetle, which - Gaia forbid - would at least have only a limited effect on the surrounding area if lost. The North American Taxpayer is a major part of the economic eco-structure of this whole continent - many, many other animals rely on it for their very existence. I predict dire consequences around the world if this powerful and lovely creature is lost."

He went on to cite likely reasons for the decrease, including the destruction of their natural habitat by government programs, cultural shifts resulting in behavioral changes, and a low reproductive rate.

Experts familiar with the data confirmed that the complex webs and interactions of the economic eco-system are not fully understood, but some troubling signs have emerged which may hold a clue to this creature's decline. According to Patrominski-Feldersenfreid, "At the same time, we're seeing a surge in the numbers of various economic parasites. We do not think that is a coincidence. We are desperately trying to find the links between these populations before it's too late. It's as if something is siphoning off the resources from one group and giving them to another. We're baffled how this can be, given the strong environment of property rights and work ethic that this region of the world has had for centuries."

He closed with this sober warning "If nothing is done in the next few years, the North American Taxpayer will be completely gone by 2085 and our grandchildren will only be able to see them in two ways: stuffed museum pieces and footage from old sitcoms."