Toyota Unveils "Flames Paint Job" Factory Option on New Models

TORRANCE, CA -- Toyota Motor Sales USA announced a new "flames" paint scheme, available as an option, on all models starting today. Spokesman Ed Schlep read a prepared statement talking about the "sah-weet new look" of Toyota vehicles and likened it to the "awesomeness" of the 'Screaming Eagle' hood decal that could be ordered on 70s era Pontiac Trans Ams.

He observed that the vehicles will feel faster to drivers due to the "strictly cosmetic, but wicked" changes. "It's like the cars jump off the [starting] blocks and just keep screaming. You almost feel like you can't control them - like you're stuck on a really scary roller coaster. It is so awesome."

He concluded by noting a final benefit for consumers, "Our cars now become even more of a chick magnet - and better chicks, too, not just the weird hippy kind that don't shave their armpits or uptight old ladies", an apparent reference to the Toyota Prius Hybrid vehicle, which has become a status symbol among wealthy, environmentally-conscious suburbanite children and their grandparents.