Greece Seeks Licensing Fees for Greek Letters

ATHENS, GREECE -- The Greek government today announced it will seek licensing fees for the use of Greek Letters. "These letters belong to us" Greek President Karolos Papoulias stated today in a press conference. "The Greek alphabet is our intellectual property and people around the world have been using them, without our consent - and without compensation - for centuries." The plan calls for a sliding scale of charges, depending on the letter. The popular letters Alpha and Beta will fetch the most money while little-used Chi and Rho will get the least.

Greece is currently facing a very serious financial crisis due to the rise of public sector unions and massive public debt. This proposal to regain financial solvency is a popular one within Greece according to Mr. Papoulias, the leader of the Greek Socialist party, as it "makes someone else pay."  The measures seek only to extract licensing fees on western nations, since "they're the only ones enforcing copyright and intellectual property laws anyway."

The move sparked a similar effort for licensing of Arabic numerals, but that proposal has been held up due to claims that "Arabic" numerals actually originated in India, prior to its subjugation by Arab Muslim conquerors in the 10th century.

Institutions of higher learning are predicted to pay billions if Greece is successful in enforcing its wishes. Many Universities and Colleges have already hiked tuition in anticipation.