January 25, 2010

Air America Bankrupt / Owners Switch Political Parties

NEW YORK, NY -- Left-wing radio station Air America Media closed up shop last week, ending a rocky, unprofitable 6 year run that investors called "worse than Fannie Mae."  The real news, however, is that of the 7 owners of the company, 6 have changed political outlook and now consider themselves "conservative."  The 7th committed suicide.

The remaining owners, who are trying to keep the defections secret in order to continue friendships with "the cool kids", gave several reasons why they now believe that a smaller, less intrusive government is the best possible political system.  "We'd never run a business before, and we figured out pretty quick it is hard work and not as easy as you might think.  Having the FCC, IRS, EPA, and a hundred other government regulators breathing down your neck about everything makes that job a hundred times worse.  After we figured out that government is usually the problem - not the solution - it was a pretty awful feeling listening to our programming, and realizing it was a bunch of nonsense.  It felt like we were living a lie."  Living that lie is the suspected reason for the suicide of the 7th owner, whose cryptic bedside note said only "Rush is Right."

When asked whether another left-wing radio network will appear to replace Air America, the owners sounded pessimistic "I doubt it.  We tried to target the folks that appreciate the hard-hitting journalism of Jon Stewart and Katie Couric.  Unfortunately, very few of them would switch the radio dial off Howard Stern.  And to be honest, when they did switch there wasn't much to listen to anyway - towards the end, we found it easier and less expensive to just keep looping the hosts braying 'Dems are Good, Tea Bags Bad' for the better part of the day.  None of our listeners could tell the difference."

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