March 18, 2010

Possible Coverup of "O'Bama's" Night on the Town

WASHINGTON, DC -- President Obama reportedly sampled the night life with pal Tiger Woods for St. Patrick's Day, and may have overindulged in green beer. A bedraggled President arrived late to a scheduled 6:00 AM press conference this morning, and only managed to mumble a few words before making a hasty exit, assisted by staffers. His communications director later explained that the President was experiencing "flu-like symptoms" and "having trouble seeing his teleprompter."

Unconfirmed reports from O'Mally's in downtown Washington, DC, allege that the President arrived there with his Secret Service detail around 9:00 PM, referring to them as "my entourage."  As the night wore on, numerous witnesses say they saw him singing and dancing with patrons while wearing a silly green hat and calling himself "Berrick O'Bama."  At one point, a woman claims he wanted to leave the bar and "climb the Washington Monument."

An Ebay listing early this morning for "Authentic Presidential Vomit" appears to corroborate these allegations.

 While Mr. Woods reportedly left the bar with a female patron, the President is thought to have stayed to "hang out shum more with the votersh."  
Secret Service agents would not confirm reports that the President kept saying "I love you, man" to staffers while returning to the White House.

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