November 26, 2009

New Cabinet Post: "Hollywood Advisor"

WASHINGTON, DC -- The Obama team has created a new cabinet-level post called The Hollywood Advisor.  The President made the announcement before a recent state dinner.  "We are finally tapping into our national resource of brainpower and insight that is Hollywood.  We look forward to hearing the viewpoints and wisdom of actors, talk show hosts, singers, dancers, and professional celebrities."

He went on to explain that the new position would represent not just Hollywood, but nearly everyone in the entertainment industry, except country music.  The White House hasn't made a final selection yet of who to nominate, and they are being very choosy.  A staffer who asked not to be identified stated "In order to get the experience we need, we're limiting our search to people who have played a head of state or high-ranking official, preferable the President."

The White House released the following justification to Congress for the new post:
Top Ten Reasons Why the White House Needs a Hollywood Cabinet Rep
10. Having one of the "beautiful people" around means never being upstaged by Sarah Palin again.
9. Finally, someone for the Secret Service to have limo races with...
8. White House needs someone that Al Franken can respect.
7. Let's see how Hollywood Squares handles security clearances.
6. The President wants someone around who can appreciate his Teleprompter stories.
5. A way to one-up Clinton's Lincoln Bedroom stays.
4. After not coming through on "Don't Ask / Don't Tell", this might get us invited to parties again.
3. If we play our cards right, the taxpayers might think they're watching "24" during the next terrorist attack.
2. Only trained actors can keep a straight face when we unveil the next round of bailouts.
1. Need a staff member that makes Biden look smart.

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