January 21, 2011

Smithsonian Changes Course, Will Offend All Religions

WASHINGTON, DC -- The National Portrait Gallery, a federally funded museum of the Smithsonian Institution, has abruptly reversed its decision to stop displaying portions of an artistic exhibition featuring an ant-covered crucifix.  The museum now intends to expand that display and rename it "Celebrating World Religions: Sickening Images and Repulsive Ideas."

The exhibit that sparked a public outcry by denigrating a symbol of Jesus Christ, whom some Christians believe to be the savior of all mankind and the son of God, will be put back on display around April, in time for the Christian holiday of Easter.

Mr. Andre Poofley, the Curator of Offensive and Scatological Art at the Smithsonian, responded to questions about the change in direction today and stated "We're embarking on a new artistic policy and we're not kowtowing anymore to religious groups and their narrow-minded prejudices. To show how open-minded and tolerant we are in comparison, we intend to offend all the major religions." He went on to explain that the new exhibit would be going on for the rest of the year and would seek to mock and ridicule every major religion around their holy days.  "Christians, Hindus, Muslims, and Buddhists - get ready to be angry!" he went on to say.  Additional security measures will be in place during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, a museum official later added.

Mr. Poofley concluded the press conference with a brief tour and closing remarks, "People - non-artists - write me letters all the time saying this style of art is deliberately controversial, and that these artists are crass, attention-seeking swindlers with no talent.  Well, that just isn't true.  These are talented, thoughtful, and hard-working craftsman with something important to say.  Anyone who sees our first tour stop is sure to be convinced of that.  It is called 'partially-chewed food smeared on a white canvas.'"

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