January 26, 2011

Obama Pivot Inspired by "Undercover Boss" Experience Last Year

WASHINGTON, DC -- After viewing President Barack Obama's State of the Union address last night, pundits were struggling to understand his apparent turn to the political right.  His staff revealed afterwards that the President's political outlook changed drastically after recording an episode for the popular CBS Television show "Undercover Boss" and seeing firsthand the magnitude of waste and incompetence within the US Federal Government.  The show, which the network agreed not to air until after the Presidential election in 2012, has been reported to be "a real eye-opener for the American public, and the current President."

The President's Former Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, spoke to reporters about the President's experiences this past summer while taping the show.   "We did not want him to do it," he noted sourly. "He's never held a real job before, and we didn't think we was ready.  Plus, we were afraid if he learned how things actually work in the government he'd be a changed man.  Turns out we were right - can you imagine him a year ago acknowledging the deficit as a problem?"

CBS released some details about the episode, stating that the President took three assignments as a low-level intern named "Barry King" and spent 3 months at the Environmental Protection Agency, Department of Housing and Urban Development, and Department of Education. The show's producer notes that his reactions follow "a typical pattern of response: shock and denial at first, eventual acceptance, and finally the strong desire to change. It makes for a nice show."  He went on to say that there was enough material to stretch into multiple episodes, and a feature-length "reality TV movie" was being considered. He said the concept would be "equal parts Metropolis and Brazil, with elements of the Matrix, as the main character comes to realize that everything he believes is wrong."

The President made new friends while taping the show, and some have come forward with details about his astounding political transformation.  Sally Whitfield, who has worked for the EPA for 27 years and currently processes oil rig drilling permits, says the experience of the President was comical to watch. "When he first started, I tried telling him to slow down, but he wouldn't listen.  He kept running around here, asking 'why are there so many forms?', 'why is everything so complicated and slow?', 'why doesn't anyone seem to care?'  I warned him that if kept going at that pace, he was going to make people mad.  Sure enough, he did - and some of the people he needed approvals and signatures from started causing him trouble.  One day - near the end of his rotation - he sits down with me and says 'Sally, instead of helping, I think we are actually making things worse.'  I just laughed and told him to be happy he has a job."

Analysts on the political right offered guarded approval for the President's outlook when news of the show broke. In the words of one Heritage Foundation blogger, "although we don't expect him to turn into Ronald Reagan or anything, we hope the scales fell from his eyes because of this experience and he starts to recognize that Government really is the problem. Maybe this showed him why the US Constitution is a 'negative rights' document and why the framers sought to limit government in size and scope to the bare minimum necessary."

The White House would not confirm rumors that the President is also planning to appear on the reality show "Celebrity Apprentice" to get some real-world experience in leadership and management.

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