May 5, 2010

NBA To Support Illegal Immigration with Spanish-speaking Referees

PHOENIX, AZ -- As the Phoenix Suns prepare to support "multiculturalism and illegal immigration" by wearing jerseys saying "Los Suns" on them today, the NBA has decided to take the concept one step further by implementing "all Spanish" refereeing until the Arizona immigration enforcement law is repealed. The idea, according to a NBA official involved in the project, is to "make people wake up and realize where this nation is heading" by having the referees speak exclusively Spanish to coaches, players, and the crowd during games.  A secondary effect will be to force fans and players to "brush up on their Spanish, if they want to know what's going on", according to the official. The television networks will likely add subtitles to televised basketball games.

NBA players, many of whom hold Associate Degrees in Political Science from colleges with strong basketball programs, are well-informed about immigration issues and occasionally consulted as experts by the President's staff.  Suns guard Steve Nash had this to say, "The issue of immigration is very complex.  On one hand you having people sneaking into this country illegally, and Arizona is interested in enforcing the laws that prevent that.  On the other hand, you have people like us that say 'Stop!  Enforcing laws might offend someone!'"  He went on to say that he had several small colonies of squatters living on his land and he loved having them there.  Not only is it very difficult to have them removed from his land, "he wouldn't want them to leave anyway."

Another NBA idea that has met some resistance from players is to switch the payment systems from American Dollars to Mexican Pesos, which, according to league officials "is legitimate currency the world over."

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