May 7, 2010

Lawyers Propose New Category Between "Legal" and "Illegal"

The group Justice Enhancement by Reducing Criminality has proposed a new category between "Legal" and "Illegal" stating the dividing line between the two is currently "too harsh" and should be made more gentle. Their solution creates a new legal status called "Technically Illegal, But For Good Reason" which would apply whenever someone commits a crime for "noble reasons", including helping children, combating racism and injustice, or saving the earth.

The not-for-profit organization, made up primarily of trial lawyers, states its mission as "Protecting the underprivileged by suing big companies with deep pockets."  The Hell Gazette managed a brief interview with the CEO of this organization, Lawrence Bernstein, as he stepped off one of his Lear jets last week.

HG: Please sum up for our readers why you feel this move is necessary.
LB: Our goal is to make justice a little less blind.  Too many times in this country, the "little guy" has no control over his life.  Sometimes he commits crimes, but those so-called crimes are really a plea for help.  Why should someone be punished for trying to lead a selfless, noble life?  Think of Robin Hood: it should not be against the law to rob fat-cat bankers or CEOs of profit-producing companies. Currently, the only option we have is to sue when people are unjustly accused of crimes.  Our organization is interested in changing the law itself so people accused of such things as robbery and murder can't be charged if they can prove they were doing it for the Greater Good or to help others less fortunate.  Like using the temporary insanity defense in a criminal trial: it is a game changer.
HG: How has your campaign been going so far?
LB: Honestly?  Not very well so far. But the party currently in power has been very open and receptive to the idea, provided it will, uh, benefit their members.  We've had several highly successful meetings over lunch and at parties to help spread our message.
HG: A review of your finances shows you have been donating to the campaigns of judges in key positions. Is it related to this current effort?
LB: Yes it is.  Well, actually it is related to most of what we call our 'charitable litigation' work.

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