State Dept Updates Request From "Please" to "Pretty Please"

WASHINGTON, DC -- At this week's Nuclear Security Summit, the US State Department has officially upgraded their request that countries not supply weapons and support to terrorists from "Please" to "Pretty Please."  Obama declined to authorize "Pretty Please With a Cherry On Top," saying "we're waiting to see how this approach works."  Iran and North Korea, referred to by the current President as the "axis of peace and prosperity", are two of the nations that the State Department has directed this tough action against.

A State Department staff member was quoted as saying "our pleading is going to get stronger and more forceful until we get what we want.  History has shown that dictators and strongmen can't be reasoned with very well, but respond favorably when nations debase themselves and beg a little. This President isn't afraid to bow down to these guys if it gets results."  The staffer added hastily, "we're expecting results any day now."